I'm sure no one is reading this, but I feel the need to get some things out.
Lately, I have been missing Israel so much that it hurts. I know that's weird to say when I was "only" there for four months. What right do I have as a tourist to say that I love a country so much that my heart aches? I don't know all the cons (nor all the pros) about Israel, but I feel at home there. I feel a sense of belonging. A sense of pride and hope. A feeling of happiness and a feeling of joy.
What I feel about is Israel right now is not just a "I'll go back to Israel at some point" type of phenomenon where I'll go back in 30 years. This is a feeling so strong that if someone gave me 2000 dollars right now, I know exactly what I would do with it. I literally ache for the holy land. I'm not sure how long the honeymoon period is, but I know that it's at least four months so my emotions may just be a result of not being able to finish that.
I think that this feeling has become stronger in the past few weeks because of the series of Jewish holidays that occurred over the past week: Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Rememberence Day), Yom HaZikron (Remberence of Fallen Soldiers), and finally Yom Ha'atzmaut (Israel Independence Day). These holidays have such an impact on Jews all across American that it must be an amazing experience to be in Israel when those holidays occurred.
It also feels like I was never in Israel. I am forgetting a lot of my Hebrew because I am not exposed to it daily. I miss the smell of fresh hot pitas wafting through the air and every place that claims to be the best falafel in town.
I have grown-up while abroad, but some of my friends who did not go abroad, well, did not mature as much and sometimes as a result it is hard to talk to them. I don't care about the daily drama that happens everyday at college. I don't want to hear about who's not talking to who or who did what to who. Let's move on to something in the world that matters.
In addition, many of my friends who I haven't seen in a almost a year are starting to come back from their experience and I feel that despite the fact that I went abroad that everyone forgot. Like my experience is undermined by theirs. I want to hear about their trip to London, Hawaii, or where ever it may be, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to talk about my trip.
So, the thing to do now is start looking into programs for after college. I know my mom and dad won't be happy, but Israel is a place that has become a piece of my heart. I can't just let it be.
Lately, I have been missing Israel so much that it hurts. I know that's weird to say when I was "only" there for four months. What right do I have as a tourist to say that I love a country so much that my heart aches? I don't know all the cons (nor all the pros) about Israel, but I feel at home there. I feel a sense of belonging. A sense of pride and hope. A feeling of happiness and a feeling of joy.
What I feel about is Israel right now is not just a "I'll go back to Israel at some point" type of phenomenon where I'll go back in 30 years. This is a feeling so strong that if someone gave me 2000 dollars right now, I know exactly what I would do with it. I literally ache for the holy land. I'm not sure how long the honeymoon period is, but I know that it's at least four months so my emotions may just be a result of not being able to finish that.
I think that this feeling has become stronger in the past few weeks because of the series of Jewish holidays that occurred over the past week: Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Rememberence Day), Yom HaZikron (Remberence of Fallen Soldiers), and finally Yom Ha'atzmaut (Israel Independence Day). These holidays have such an impact on Jews all across American that it must be an amazing experience to be in Israel when those holidays occurred.
It also feels like I was never in Israel. I am forgetting a lot of my Hebrew because I am not exposed to it daily. I miss the smell of fresh hot pitas wafting through the air and every place that claims to be the best falafel in town.
I have grown-up while abroad, but some of my friends who did not go abroad, well, did not mature as much and sometimes as a result it is hard to talk to them. I don't care about the daily drama that happens everyday at college. I don't want to hear about who's not talking to who or who did what to who. Let's move on to something in the world that matters.
In addition, many of my friends who I haven't seen in a almost a year are starting to come back from their experience and I feel that despite the fact that I went abroad that everyone forgot. Like my experience is undermined by theirs. I want to hear about their trip to London, Hawaii, or where ever it may be, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to talk about my trip.
So, the thing to do now is start looking into programs for after college. I know my mom and dad won't be happy, but Israel is a place that has become a piece of my heart. I can't just let it be.
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