This week, I finished my visit with Yad Vashem. I stook my time reading all the plaques and looking at the pictures. I could feel myself losing focus and because I wanted to be able to absorb everything, I left after learning about Hitler's power and the rise of Nazis. Afterwards, I went to the Hall of Remembrance where the names of each concentration camp are laid out. It wasn't until the next day the I learned about the fate of two of the camps. Belzec had only one survivor and that Chelmno only had three survivors. These two facts had a big impact on me. Survivors I have heard speak were in Bergen-Belsen, Auschwitz, Dachau, or Treblinka. It never even occurred to me that these two camps, which I don't recall learning about by name, would have so few survivors.
In addition, one of the posters included information on the Nazi's next move. However, the war luckily ended before they could be put through. The plans included, by country, how many Jews they wanted to kill by the end of the next year. Most of the countries were in the hundred thousands. There was one country, I can't remember which one, but I think it was somewhere in Northern Europe, where the number listed was 200. The fact that this number even made the list is incomprehensible. They were so into their goal that everything mattered. Even this one little country.
One last thing that I had only heard small details about is the Einsatzgruppen. One specific operation killed over 30,000 Jews in two days. Or, a whole city completely wiped out. One SS officer wrote a letter to his wife and son that the first killing was hard, but after that it became habit. Habit! Everything I have learned about the bystander effect and group mentality in terms of the Holocaust is completely wiped away. Telling people to dig their own graves and to undress near it so that they will fall right in when they are shot is beyond inhumane. That's not group mentality, that's your own mind becoming insane.
The Nuremburg Trials were supposed to convict Nazis. One time when I learned about the Holocaust, my teacher asked us if the factory workers making Zyklon-B should be put on trial. Or if the train drivers. Technically, they didn't point the gun, but both workers had a big part in killing the Jews.
Though Yad Vashem is depressing, there is a certain spirit that I felt as I walked back outside after going through the museum. The inside of the building is full of dark terrible nightmares describing slaughters and mass murdering. But outside, the golden sun shimmers off the building. A garden winds through the Jerusalem forest towards Mount Herzel. The triangular building over looks Ein Kerem. I walked outside into the conclusion. It's very hard describe. I have been to the museum in DC and while the museum is good you don't get the same sense of pride as when you walk out the doors. When you walk out onto the DC streets you continue living as an American. But stepping out into the Israel air, you are continuing life as a Jew.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Your Epidermis is Showing!
My thought process: It's hot out today. I'll wear these shorts and a tank top. But I'm going to the city center, I always feel so uncomfortable. I'll put a t-shirt over my tank top.
Fast forward a few hours: I go through the entrance of the supermarket. The guard gives me the go ahead to enter the store without checking my bag. As I am picking out apples, a different security guard comes up to me and tells me that they saw me on camera and that I am not dressed appropriately. I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but apparently my shorts are too short. I am given a scarf to wrap around my waist so that my knees aren't showing. As a side note, I was not the only one in this situation. There were a few other women (and only women) who were also given scarves.
Yes, I am in a religious neighborhood. But I'm picking out apples from a bin, not from the Tree of Life, but the way that I was approached made it seem that way. If I'm in the parking lot of the store, the same people who saw me inside will see me outside and see the way I am dressed. It is my belief that on a hot day, I can wear shorts and a t-shirt in all different colors. If you are a religious woman (by which I mean a Black Hat), it is your belief to wear long skirts and long shirts in either black, grey, or blue. Just because I choose to express myself differently does not mean that my right should be taken away when I go food shopping.
But wait.
There's a sign in the front of the store that asks customers to dress appropriately because this is specific supermarket is a religious one. This company only owns a few other stores in the country, maybe two or three. So I should dress like they want me to...right?
( pictures )
( pictures )
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tasting America and Israel
As I waited to get onto the plane for the second leg of my Aliyah flight, there were two people to check the tickets. One line was fuller than the other and of course I was in the fuller line. The other one was empty and the check-in lady told people to go to her side. The lady a few people behind me, an American, and I both stepped to her booth at the same time. There was an exchanging of "go, no you go, no you." before I finally stepped forward to end it. I felt that this was perfect in giving me my last taste of America. There was no pushing, no shoving, but rather a politeness factor.
After arriving in Israel, I went to the Ministry of Absorption to gather my teudat oleh (my ID indicating that I am new in the country). This sounds like it should have taken no more than five minutes, which technically it didn't. However, we had to wait for every person from the previous flights and my flight to get their ID cards. So about twenty people. Then we had to wait for the bus to drive everyone back to the airport and pick up luggage. But finally I was in Israel and on the drive home, the sun set over Jerusalem.
The next few day then consisted of setting up everything you need to live. But I was not able to sign up a cell phone or a bank account or ulpan until I received my teudat zehut (my permanent ID). In the meantime, I investigated the banks and cell hone companies. There are two major banks in Jerusalem and a few other ones that are not as prominent. In the end, I just chose a bank where the people were the nicest. Though at the one I chose, the teller told me that I wasn't allowed to open an account unless I lived in that neighborhood, but he would allow it this one time. For cell phones, the first place I looked, the seller wouldn't give me any discounts as an oleh (immigrant) which I am entitled to, until the person I brought with me told him that he himself, has this company. Then all of a sudden, the seller started taking discounts, but he also stopped talking to me. The second place I went, which I was reluctant to go to in the first place because it's logo gives an expensive look, was immediately nicer. They offered me a discount when I showed my ID, they told us to sit down, have some water (which they do literally everywhere there is business to be done. This happened at the bank too), and discuss my options. Because this company was nicer and actually talked to me as well as inexpensive, I chose them.
After waiting an hour at the Ministy of Interior (Misrad HaPanim), which was a quick name, parents name, prove you're Jewish and were born (all of which I needed before making Aliyah), I opened a bank account and received a cell phone. Oh, but then I had to go back to the Ministy of Absorption to tell them my bank account number and cell phone, but I need to make an appointment. And I found this out after waiting an hour in line.
Except for the red tape, everything else is going great. On Friday morning, I could really feel Shabbat in the air. Black hats were scurrying, cars were bumper to bumper, and everyone had somewhere to be. For the weekend, I went to the beach, which was absolutely gorgeous. Afterwards, I went food shopping and since it was hot outside I was wearing a tank top (a real tank top, not spaghetti straps) and shorts. When I walked in, the guard told me that because my shoulders were showing, I had to wear a scarf over my shirt.
First of all, my shoulder were mostly covered. It was the kind of shirt that stretch at the shoulders. Second of all, this was food shopping. I understand if it was a holy place, but last time I checked Pastafarians don't care whether or not my shoulders are covered. I took the scarf off later and no one bothered me, but still.
And by the way, Pastafarian is a real religion recognize by the government.
Pictures should be up shortly.
After arriving in Israel, I went to the Ministry of Absorption to gather my teudat oleh (my ID indicating that I am new in the country). This sounds like it should have taken no more than five minutes, which technically it didn't. However, we had to wait for every person from the previous flights and my flight to get their ID cards. So about twenty people. Then we had to wait for the bus to drive everyone back to the airport and pick up luggage. But finally I was in Israel and on the drive home, the sun set over Jerusalem.
The next few day then consisted of setting up everything you need to live. But I was not able to sign up a cell phone or a bank account or ulpan until I received my teudat zehut (my permanent ID). In the meantime, I investigated the banks and cell hone companies. There are two major banks in Jerusalem and a few other ones that are not as prominent. In the end, I just chose a bank where the people were the nicest. Though at the one I chose, the teller told me that I wasn't allowed to open an account unless I lived in that neighborhood, but he would allow it this one time. For cell phones, the first place I looked, the seller wouldn't give me any discounts as an oleh (immigrant) which I am entitled to, until the person I brought with me told him that he himself, has this company. Then all of a sudden, the seller started taking discounts, but he also stopped talking to me. The second place I went, which I was reluctant to go to in the first place because it's logo gives an expensive look, was immediately nicer. They offered me a discount when I showed my ID, they told us to sit down, have some water (which they do literally everywhere there is business to be done. This happened at the bank too), and discuss my options. Because this company was nicer and actually talked to me as well as inexpensive, I chose them.
After waiting an hour at the Ministy of Interior (Misrad HaPanim), which was a quick name, parents name, prove you're Jewish and were born (all of which I needed before making Aliyah), I opened a bank account and received a cell phone. Oh, but then I had to go back to the Ministy of Absorption to tell them my bank account number and cell phone, but I need to make an appointment. And I found this out after waiting an hour in line.
Except for the red tape, everything else is going great. On Friday morning, I could really feel Shabbat in the air. Black hats were scurrying, cars were bumper to bumper, and everyone had somewhere to be. For the weekend, I went to the beach, which was absolutely gorgeous. Afterwards, I went food shopping and since it was hot outside I was wearing a tank top (a real tank top, not spaghetti straps) and shorts. When I walked in, the guard told me that because my shoulders were showing, I had to wear a scarf over my shirt.
First of all, my shoulder were mostly covered. It was the kind of shirt that stretch at the shoulders. Second of all, this was food shopping. I understand if it was a holy place, but last time I checked Pastafarians don't care whether or not my shoulders are covered. I took the scarf off later and no one bothered me, but still.
And by the way, Pastafarian is a real religion recognize by the government.
Pictures should be up shortly.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Waiting is Patience
There is a psychology test called The Marshamallow Test. This measures how well children can delay gratification. Children around the age of four are given a marshmallow. They are told that if they can wait twenty minutes they will get two marshmallows instead of one. The study looks at temptation and gratification. Those who wait the twenty minutes are said to be able to delay gratification better than those who eat the marshmallow before the time is up. The findings suggest that those who are able to wait the five minutes and delay gratification end up doing better in school, form longer lasting friendships, and overall more successful in life.
As a human race, we all find waiting hard.We wait in line. We wait for the mail. We wait for vacation. These are short-term waits. Most of us just grow impatient and afterwards complain about the elderly lady who paid for her purchase all in pennies. However, we wait eighteen years to be an adult. We wait sixteen years to finish school and get a degree to work. We wait to have a family. We wait so long we never think it is going to arrive. Knowing that something you want is close and only one this stands between you and your goal is so irking. You just want to skip the steps and go directly to the goal. You think that skipping over these steps can't make that much of a difference, right? Imagine skipping over childhood. You wouldn't know how to function in society. Or going right into the workforce. You'd have no skills. So, as impatient as waiting for something is, all the steps need to be completed and are necessary in reaching your goal.
Right now I am waiting to go to Israel. I am trying to be patient and wait for all the right documents to come in, but it is hard. I just want to fly there myself, literally. Use my two arms to fly over there now. Swim across the cold Atlantic and be there. But instead of wasting that amount of time and money, I am waiting. Patiently. But patience wears low. For trying to not think about Israel only makes me think about it more.
Like the White Bear experiment The more you are told not think about something, the more likely you are to have it stuck in your head. Ever hear of "The Game" ? The loser is the one who thinks of The Game first and thus loses for thinking about it.
As a human race, we all find waiting hard.We wait in line. We wait for the mail. We wait for vacation. These are short-term waits. Most of us just grow impatient and afterwards complain about the elderly lady who paid for her purchase all in pennies. However, we wait eighteen years to be an adult. We wait sixteen years to finish school and get a degree to work. We wait to have a family. We wait so long we never think it is going to arrive. Knowing that something you want is close and only one this stands between you and your goal is so irking. You just want to skip the steps and go directly to the goal. You think that skipping over these steps can't make that much of a difference, right? Imagine skipping over childhood. You wouldn't know how to function in society. Or going right into the workforce. You'd have no skills. So, as impatient as waiting for something is, all the steps need to be completed and are necessary in reaching your goal.
Right now I am waiting to go to Israel. I am trying to be patient and wait for all the right documents to come in, but it is hard. I just want to fly there myself, literally. Use my two arms to fly over there now. Swim across the cold Atlantic and be there. But instead of wasting that amount of time and money, I am waiting. Patiently. But patience wears low. For trying to not think about Israel only makes me think about it more.
Like the White Bear experiment The more you are told not think about something, the more likely you are to have it stuck in your head. Ever hear of "The Game" ? The loser is the one who thinks of The Game first and thus loses for thinking about it.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Prove it
Part of the aliyah process is proving that you are Jewish. This can be done in few ways. In my case, it's either my parents' ketubah (marriage certificate in Hebrew) or a letter from the rabbi. Being that the Ketubah is permanently in a frame, I opted for the letter. It's a simple statement saying that I was born to a Jewish mother and so I am halachikally Jewish.
This got me thinking. Who is "more" Jewish? The person who was born to only a Jewish father and knows all the rituals of Judasim? Or a person who was born to a Jewish mother, but knows nothing of the customs. That is to say, shouldn't a person who is spiritually connected to the religion be more accepted as a Jew than the Jew who has no spiritual connection?
I have many friends who are Jewish through their father. They know the customs and laws and are very involved in synagogue. They know Hebrew and go to Shabbat services. They are obviously very devoted to their Judaism. However, it is in my opinion that if they are that devoted towards the religion then they should respect the laws. I have made it clear in previous posts that it is my personal opinion that I think that people who are born Jewish through their father should go through a conversion process. However, if you tell me that you are Jewish I'm not going to ask you "through your mother or through your father?" It's disrespectful. If you consider yourself a Jew, then I do too. I will not disregard you as Jewish if you tell me your father is a Jew and not your mother, but just don't tell me you are half-Jewish. Either you are or you aren't.
I also have friends who are Jewish through their mother, but know nothing about Judaism. They never observe any of the holidays, the only Hebrew word they know is "Shalom", and don't give much thought to the religion in general. Well, obviously these people are Jewish, right? According to the Torah, yes.
But I'm not so sure. More religious people may think that I am "less" Jewish than they are and that hurts. When I would walk through the shuk in my jeans and tank top, the glares I would get from religious Jews said "I am more superior than you because I follow the correct laws of Judaism." But that's stupid. I consider myself Jewish despite that I don't follow all the laws of the Torah. I can't go and give someone who less religious than me that same look. I know how it feels. How can I tell someone they are not of the religion they grew up with? To tell them that they can believe all the stories in the bible and go through all the rituals, but not consider them a Jew? How can I do that? Judaism entails many different laws and everyone observes them differently. I have no say in anything. You can do as you please and if you feel you are Jewish then my all means go ahead and be as Jewish as you want. For the only one that can truly judge you is G-d.
This got me thinking. Who is "more" Jewish? The person who was born to only a Jewish father and knows all the rituals of Judasim? Or a person who was born to a Jewish mother, but knows nothing of the customs. That is to say, shouldn't a person who is spiritually connected to the religion be more accepted as a Jew than the Jew who has no spiritual connection?
I have many friends who are Jewish through their father. They know the customs and laws and are very involved in synagogue. They know Hebrew and go to Shabbat services. They are obviously very devoted to their Judaism. However, it is in my opinion that if they are that devoted towards the religion then they should respect the laws. I have made it clear in previous posts that it is my personal opinion that I think that people who are born Jewish through their father should go through a conversion process. However, if you tell me that you are Jewish I'm not going to ask you "through your mother or through your father?" It's disrespectful. If you consider yourself a Jew, then I do too. I will not disregard you as Jewish if you tell me your father is a Jew and not your mother, but just don't tell me you are half-Jewish. Either you are or you aren't.
I also have friends who are Jewish through their mother, but know nothing about Judaism. They never observe any of the holidays, the only Hebrew word they know is "Shalom", and don't give much thought to the religion in general. Well, obviously these people are Jewish, right? According to the Torah, yes.
But I'm not so sure. More religious people may think that I am "less" Jewish than they are and that hurts. When I would walk through the shuk in my jeans and tank top, the glares I would get from religious Jews said "I am more superior than you because I follow the correct laws of Judaism." But that's stupid. I consider myself Jewish despite that I don't follow all the laws of the Torah. I can't go and give someone who less religious than me that same look. I know how it feels. How can I tell someone they are not of the religion they grew up with? To tell them that they can believe all the stories in the bible and go through all the rituals, but not consider them a Jew? How can I do that? Judaism entails many different laws and everyone observes them differently. I have no say in anything. You can do as you please and if you feel you are Jewish then my all means go ahead and be as Jewish as you want. For the only one that can truly judge you is G-d.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Listen to Your Heart
For half of my childhood, I was questioned by by peers. "What are those triangle cookies?", "What's matzah?", "You only get 8 presents?". It's gets exhausting and annoying to have to answer these questions. When I moved to a more Jewish town, the questions changed from "eww, that's gross" inquiries to "I genuinely want to know" wonderments. While it was still somewhat bothersome to always have to explain why I was taking a day off from school, I was more ok with answering these questions because in return I would ask my friends of other ethnicities about their own culture. We traded information because we wanted to know not because we wanted to tease.
Everyone wants to be different. But then when we are different, we feel offended that people can't understand that our differences is what makes us unique. We tease and mock others who are are outside the group of conformity and yet we continue to say "I am different." But really, we're all the same. We want to be different, but not too different. We want to stand out from the group, but we don't want to be in the fringe. So while being Jewish has given me a sense of uniqueness, there was always a part of me that wondered what it was like to be in a place where the rules of religion were understood.
And for me, that place is Israel.
Living there for four or six months at a time just doesn't give me the sense of belonging. I still feel like a visitor no matter how well I know my location. And so, I am about to do what will hurt my family the most.
A move to Israel.
How am I supposed to explain that moving to Israel is something I need to do? If I don't I will regret this for the rest of my life. There are proven studies that say you regret inaction more than actions. So, even if I do end up hating life there, at least I tried. I had the guts to move to a different country. On the other hand, life is short and this is the time of my life when it's ok to pick up and go. It's ok to take adventures. There's nothing holding me back. Family will always be here and I will always love them and I will always be thinking of them. It may seem like I am abandoning the family I have known for almost 23 years, but it's not abandonment. I'm not leaving the US without looking back. I am tucking them in my backpack to pull out at any time. Trust me when I say I will be thinking of everyone. I will be feeling guilty for missing certain events. But, family will always be important. My mother taught me that.
I want to move to Israel for a million reasons. I can't explain every single one. I have tried hard in previous posts to illustrate exactly why I love Israel. Life in the United States isn't terrible. I have a good life. I had a good education. I am cultured and traveled. I have always known when the next meal was. I have always had a roof over my head. I have had parents who love me and support me. I am lucky to have been born in such a fortunate family. But that's just it. Sometimes you have to do something out of your comfort zone in order to fully appreciate what life has given you. I understand that it's not just my comfort zone I am walking out of. It's all of my family's and friends' comfort zone and it's this, that I think hurts them the most.
I know my move will be hard on my family, but I hope they understand that this is something I want/have to do.
Everyone wants to be different. But then when we are different, we feel offended that people can't understand that our differences is what makes us unique. We tease and mock others who are are outside the group of conformity and yet we continue to say "I am different." But really, we're all the same. We want to be different, but not too different. We want to stand out from the group, but we don't want to be in the fringe. So while being Jewish has given me a sense of uniqueness, there was always a part of me that wondered what it was like to be in a place where the rules of religion were understood.
And for me, that place is Israel.
Living there for four or six months at a time just doesn't give me the sense of belonging. I still feel like a visitor no matter how well I know my location. And so, I am about to do what will hurt my family the most.
A move to Israel.
How am I supposed to explain that moving to Israel is something I need to do? If I don't I will regret this for the rest of my life. There are proven studies that say you regret inaction more than actions. So, even if I do end up hating life there, at least I tried. I had the guts to move to a different country. On the other hand, life is short and this is the time of my life when it's ok to pick up and go. It's ok to take adventures. There's nothing holding me back. Family will always be here and I will always love them and I will always be thinking of them. It may seem like I am abandoning the family I have known for almost 23 years, but it's not abandonment. I'm not leaving the US without looking back. I am tucking them in my backpack to pull out at any time. Trust me when I say I will be thinking of everyone. I will be feeling guilty for missing certain events. But, family will always be important. My mother taught me that.
I want to move to Israel for a million reasons. I can't explain every single one. I have tried hard in previous posts to illustrate exactly why I love Israel. Life in the United States isn't terrible. I have a good life. I had a good education. I am cultured and traveled. I have always known when the next meal was. I have always had a roof over my head. I have had parents who love me and support me. I am lucky to have been born in such a fortunate family. But that's just it. Sometimes you have to do something out of your comfort zone in order to fully appreciate what life has given you. I understand that it's not just my comfort zone I am walking out of. It's all of my family's and friends' comfort zone and it's this, that I think hurts them the most.
I know my move will be hard on my family, but I hope they understand that this is something I want/have to do.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My First Jew
When I go into a new environment where I don't know the people, I take off my Star of David necklace. You never know what people's perception of Judaism is and I don't want to upset anyone. Saying this, I recently started wearing my necklace to work because I felt comfortable enough around my coworkers. I never said I was Jewish (Except after mentioning that I worked in Israel for 6 months. Then someone asked me.), but my identity could be seen in my necklace.
Anyway, a few days ago the following conversation took place:
Coworker: You're Jewish?
Me: Yea
CW: By race or religion? Or both?
Me: Both.
CW: Oh. I've never met a Jew before. You look like any other white girl t'me. I've got these stereotypes and would have never guessed you were Jewish.
Then a customer came in and our conversation was interrupted.
I've never met anyone who has never met a Jew. To me that feels weird. I grew up in a town where much of the population was Jewish. I grew up in a state where, though there is antisemitism, it is not as great as other places in the United States. Being Jewish is my identity. It's part of who I am and when someone has never met anyone with a part of my identity it makes me feel both uncomfortable and exhilarating. I have the power and privilege to show this person what and who a Jew can be. But because I am his representative, it puts a lot of pressure on me. Do I have enough knowledge of Judaism to explain customs and ways? Do I know the right explanations? Do I know the answers to the whys? Unconsciously, this person that has never met a Jew is watching my every move. How I act and react towards others. How I dress. How I move. Everything. I know that some people live sheltered lives, but I know for a fact that this person has "been around the block." But not to have met a Jew? At the age of 20-something? In Massachusetts? That's hard to believe considering the amount of diversity in the state. And yet it's true.
How am I supposed to respond to someone that says "I've never met a Jew before." I've never climbed to the top of Mount Everest. What's your point? That's what I want my response to be, but in reality I know that it can't. I know that I need to show this person that the negative stereotypes of Jews are not necessarily true. I need to show them that Jews are a people. A person. It doesn't and shouldn't matter my religion or race. I'm a human being and my Judaism just happens to be part of my identity as much as being female or white.
Anyway, a few days ago the following conversation took place:
Coworker: You're Jewish?
Me: Yea
CW: By race or religion? Or both?
Me: Both.
CW: Oh. I've never met a Jew before. You look like any other white girl t'me. I've got these stereotypes and would have never guessed you were Jewish.
Then a customer came in and our conversation was interrupted.
I've never met anyone who has never met a Jew. To me that feels weird. I grew up in a town where much of the population was Jewish. I grew up in a state where, though there is antisemitism, it is not as great as other places in the United States. Being Jewish is my identity. It's part of who I am and when someone has never met anyone with a part of my identity it makes me feel both uncomfortable and exhilarating. I have the power and privilege to show this person what and who a Jew can be. But because I am his representative, it puts a lot of pressure on me. Do I have enough knowledge of Judaism to explain customs and ways? Do I know the right explanations? Do I know the answers to the whys? Unconsciously, this person that has never met a Jew is watching my every move. How I act and react towards others. How I dress. How I move. Everything. I know that some people live sheltered lives, but I know for a fact that this person has "been around the block." But not to have met a Jew? At the age of 20-something? In Massachusetts? That's hard to believe considering the amount of diversity in the state. And yet it's true.
How am I supposed to respond to someone that says "I've never met a Jew before." I've never climbed to the top of Mount Everest. What's your point? That's what I want my response to be, but in reality I know that it can't. I know that I need to show this person that the negative stereotypes of Jews are not necessarily true. I need to show them that Jews are a people. A person. It doesn't and shouldn't matter my religion or race. I'm a human being and my Judaism just happens to be part of my identity as much as being female or white.
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