My First Purim

There is no Purim like Purim in Israel.

In the United States, you go to synagogue, maybe dress up in costume, hear the megillah, and eat hamentaschen. It's one evening. Not so here in Israel. If it wasn't for Shabbat, the party would have continued throught the evening. Here, if you are not in costume, it's weird. Everybody has something silly on, whether it's a hat or face paint. Whether they are 2 months old or 92 years old. Everybody is in disguise.

There was a small party at the kindergarten for the kids. The came into school dressed in costume. I have never seen such cute lions, penguins, and princesses. They of course didn't really understand what was happening, but I think they had fun at the activites that we had planned for them.

Thursday was not technically Purim in Jerusalem. Because Jerusalem is a "walled-city", she celebrates Shushan Purim. This is because the Jews were not invloved in Haman's defeat until the day after the rest of Persia. It was then decided in Joshua's time, that Purim would be celebrated in all citied that were enclosed by walls when he conquered Israel. Despite that the rest of the country was celebrating Purim on Wednesday/Thursday, the Yerushalmim (Jerusalemites) continued celebrating with them. By the time I left work, everybody was in costume and families crowded Ben Yehuda street. While this tourist street is normally crowded, it was nothing compared to what it was like Thursday afternoon and especially night.

Friday, we drove into the city center and actually managed to find a parking spot. Not only was it Purim, but it was also almost Shabbat. With these two holidays back to back, the shuk was even more crowded than usual. If you have ever been to the shuk on a Friday afternoon at 2pm, you know there is very little room to move and you choose food from the closest stand knowing that it will be five minutes, at least, before reaching your favorite vendor. On this day, however, it was a sea of people. If one person stopped, the whole crowd stopped. It took over 15 minutes to pass from one end to the other. After swimming through the sea, we stopped in Nachlaot, a neigborhood near the shuk. Music was played by some of the neighboorhood's residents and people filled the streets. As we walked along the street, we stumbled on a Megillah reading. Only in Israel can you wander the streets and randomly bump into a group of people listening to the megillah. Because we had not heard the megillah yet, we stopped and listened until its finish.

The party continued and people piled up. Cars could no longer get through the street (though it's a minor street and very few cars pass through anyway) and the cars that were parked had dents in the roof from being danced on for seven hours by a hundred people. As the day went on, more elaborate costumes appeared. There was the simple "salt and pepper", "put on a wig and call it something", and animal costumes. However, there were some that were very creative and elaborate. Two girl dressed as Ursula and Ariel from The Little Mermaid. One guy had popped a football and put it on his head. And one girl dressed as a peacock.

As Shabbat neared, people dispersed to get ready and by the time the Shabbat alarm sounded, the neighborhood we had been in suddenly had fewer people. However, with no music playing, we decided to end our Purim and go home. After all it was Shabbat.

Here our some pictures (and videos) of the latest adventures!

Milestones

There's nothing like seeing a child take their first step. Or say their first word. These milestones are a huge part of development and praising the child only makes them want to move forward. For parents with normally developing kids, there are developmental characteristics that aren't as exciting yet still important. They are not noticed quite as much, but arents still praise these features eventhough they seem very small.

For example, clapping. This is one thing a baby will start to do in their first year of life. It a very important milestone because this means that the child is aware of thier hands and can start to display an even wider range of emotion. One of the kids that I work with in the kindergarten is 15 months. He just started to clap ylast week. At first, he would only put his hands together unless there is a flashing lightstick pushed up against his body. Now, if I say "can you clap for me?" he will. Since he has started to clap, he has been a little bit more successful in refining his gross motor skills. The cube goes into the box instead of staying on the table or being thrown on the floor.

How do you get a kid to learn to clap? Besides doing it for him, which is also good practice, the reward system also works. The therapist told me to sing a song that he likes and clap. I should stop in the middle and if he wants more he will put his hands to mine signaling that he wants more. It's not the full motion, but it's a start. After a few weeks of just touching my hands, he began keeping his hands on mine as I sang the song. It still takes some prompting, but this boy will clap for you.

Another simple task that parents will acknowledge, but won't think too much about it the simple task of being able to hold your head up and to turn it. Every person takes that for granted. We all learned when we were infants and have been continuing to hold our heads up for years. But this simple act for a child with the lack of muscles is a tiring feat. One boy, who just turned one, is barely able to hold his head up. If he is sitting up, he is able to look at you. But if you put him on the ground, he is not only unable to lift his body off the ground, but he also doesn't have enough muscle to look straight ahead. He needs this tummy time as the hair on the back of his head still isn't as full as the rest of the hair on his head. Plus, he's lazy. We all know this cutie can do it, but i'm pretty sure he knows just exactly how adorable he is and knows that someone will just do the task for him.

Another milestone that is taken for granted is the ability to stand from a sitting position. Usually this is one of the first signs that a baby will begin to take their first steps in a few months. A baby needs to learn to balance on two legs before they can begin to move them. The same boy that just started clapping is learning to stand up from a sitting position. He can't really stand yet, we are working on that too, but his favorite game is to sit on a wooden stool and be pulled upwards. I think he will be standing with help soon. His legs now straighten when he is in an upright position, as opposed to the jelly legs he had a few months ago.

Sidenote: It is not at all sad to be with these kids becaue they are changing everyday. The early intervention that they are going through will allow them to live a relatively normal life. Besides, how can you be sad when the moment you walk in the door and say "good morning", the kids put on a bright smile?

Annoynaces of Shabbat

On Shabbat, the country shuts down. No stores, no shops, no businesses are opened. You can spy the religious walking to synagogue with their eight kids. All is quiet on the streets of Jerusalem during Shabbat. It is very peaceful. The only thing that can be heard from my apartment is the occasional bark from the dogs and a maybe a few startling meows. Shabbat gives people a chance to just relax. To see family. To enjoy the day. With no responsibilities until sundown, it gives Jews a 24 hour period to just enjoy life.

However.

If you need medication you have to wait until sundown. If you need to see a doctor, but it's not an emergency, you need to wait until the next day. I recently got an infection in my eye. I knew exactly what it was and I knew exactly what I needed. But I had to wait over 36 hours to see a doctor and get medication and because of this, I had to miss work and the eye became more irritated. If the doctor's office had been opened on Shabbat, I could have gotten the medication that day and not missed work the next day thus pleasing my boss and putting her on my good side.

Because Shabbat is a day off, people like to enjoy themselves by going places around the city. However because most stores and tourist places are closed, it is not possible to do this unless you know specific places. Like the Hermon.

I went to the (Mt.) Hermon a few weeks ago. Because it is a National Reserve, it is opened everyday. Here, I learned to ski. Not in Massachusetts. Not in the Alps. Or the Rockies. Or in any of the ski resorts that I have been to for hiking. Nope. I learned to ski in the desert. I think if I had learned to ski when I was younger it would have been more enjoyable, but because it was my first time skiing, I fell down a lot. Plus it was a long drive there so we were all tired and it took a lot of energy to balance and stay up right. I've also been to and seen better, more exciting mountains. I'm sure it's exciting to speed down a mountain, but I'd rather stick to the hiking and watch the view at a normal place. The Hermon is a mountain that you have to see. Just like you have to see the Kotel. However, the Hermon is one of those places that is good to go to every ten years.

Age Difference

Back in September/October when I went on a trip, the age group of the people on the bus was around 28. During the two hour ride to and from mostly everybody slept. And those who didn't whispered in the back. Last week, I went to a conference in Tel Aviv for work. We had to be at the bus earlier than the usual work day. However, the average age of the people on the bus was 32 and most of the adults have kids. So, during the 45 minute drive, while me and and a few other people tried to sleep, everyone else talked.

It was interesting to realize this dynamic. I have never really thought about it before because when I go on trips, I'm usually with people my own age. Even the dynamic of the conference was like this. We got there late so my branch sat towards the back, but the teachers and the prinicpal were the first row of our branch. Behind them, the therapists and behind them, the staff and Bat-Sherut girls (the ones that do the national service). The first two rows were listening and attentive and some people were taking notes. The last row talked and doodled. While I hate to admit that I was part of the group, I will say that I think I would have paid more attention if I understood what the people were saying. Though, when someone talks in a monotonous voice, they are boring no matter what language.

The rest of the week at school was Hanukkah vacation so while the kids didn't have to come in, we were still there. But as luck would have it every kid came into Gan, except one. But it's rare that we always have all seven kids.

This is the first year that I have truly experienced Hannukah in Israel. My semester in Haifa there was a party with sufguniot (doughnuts) and last year I barely had time to light the menorah. But this year was different. I saw and felt Hannukah, though without the snow. The first night of Hanukkah, I went to the Old city to see all the chanukiot (menorahs) placed in the windows and by the Kotel. A big blue menorah by Yafo Gate welcomes the visitors, as well as the one in Kikiar Tzion. It was gorgeous seeing the two candles flicker against the Jerusalem stone. Because the streets in the Old City are so narrow, the light from the chanukiot lit up the alleyways. In addition, there was a Hannukah party at school and the siblings of the kids came to celebrate. The third night of Hannukah, as I was walking down the street, I was offered free sufguniot from different vendors and given gifts. On the last night of Hanukkah, I went to a pub where there were free dreidels (with a pey instead of a shin) and gelt.

Every night when I walked home to and from work, I would see the greetings on the busses wishing me a happy Hannukkah. At sunset, I would see families lighting candles and singing the blessing so that by the time I got home, there were chanukiot in almost every window in my apartment building. Most nights as I entered my buildings, I could smell latkes in the hallway wafting towards my nose

pictures of Hanukkah and other adventures

Bystander Effect

While riding the bus the other day, the bus driver asked if everyone was getting off at the central bus station, which is the last stop on the route. A few people replied yes. This caught me by surprise. If this question was asked in America, you would get some grumbles but definitely no definitive yeses. Definite answers are a part of Israeli culture, as well as stating their opinion. You want to know how to get to Ben Yehuda Street? Five people will tell you six different ways. And that is just asking for directions.

This got me thinking. Is the bystander effect lower in Israel? The bystander effect occurs during an emergency and people choose not to intervene. Kitty Genovese opened the eyes of many psychologists after her murder in her apartment. While she was yelling for help, the other tenants assumed that somebody else was going to help and because of this nobody helped until too late. 

If people in Israel tend to express their opinions more frequently and more often to strangers than Americans then it would that they would also run to an emergency situation and see what is going on. I can tell you that when one car is pulled over on the road, there is usually another car near it and somebody talking on the phone. Sometimes there is an accident, but most of the time it is not. This rarely happens in America. If your car breaks down you have to go fend for yourself. But here, as long as you don't enrage the other person, they treat you like family. You don't have a place for Shabbat? Tell the next person on the street and they will happily invite you over. Need a ride to the next town? Hop in. Because of the group-centered culture, people are more likely to help each other. 

Familiar Strangers

You know those people you pass everyday, but don't know? Those are your familiar strangers. It may be that you know the kind of coffee they get. Or it might be that you they wear blue only on Thursdays. Or it might be that lady with the curly hair that you pass everyday. You don't know them. You know almost nothing about them, and yet you see and remember their face. They have no importance in your life, but at the same time you wonder "where are they going? what is on their to-do list?"

Everyday when I go to work, I pass multiple people. Some are people who I will never see again. Children, adults, cats. But lately there have been three people who I consistently see on a daily basis. There is the lady that walks her cat and slowly admires the rising sun. There is the lady who is wearing pastel pink sweats (yes, everyday) and begins her walk in Sachar Park. Then, there is the guy at the crosswalk on his bike. Because the crosswalk lights stay on red for so long, I usually see him. He regulates my time. If I don't see him, I need to sprint to work. If I see he hasn't crossed to my side yet, I know that I have a lot of time left.

It's amazing that eventhough you don't know anything about these people and you only see them for a few seconds a day, that your brain is able to remember and recognize these faces. There are a million people in the world. The fact that this three pound muscle is able to remember is amazing.

In the kindergarten, a specialist comes in for Music. She is blind. I think that it is good for the older kids to know that there is a working and functional blind adult in their vicinity. While she only comes in once a week and stays in each classroom for about half an hour, the kids are still able to recognize her voice (which, by the way, is decent. She can actually sing which makes a difference since none of the rest of us can). As a blind person in the community, she does not have familiar faces, but rather familiar voices. But all of us have mixed up another's voice. Half the time when I talk to my family, I have to say it's me and not my sister. I have had conversations though where people thought I was my sister. Some times vision is the most helpful despite that the visually impaired have better tuned hearing than the seeing.

So, while familiar strangers are not very important in our lives, it makes life easier. If the cashier knows you always give correct change and you are short by a few cents (or agurot) they will let it slide. Or if the familiar stranger spills something on you or steps on your foot by accident, it makes it easier to forgive them because you know that it's not the norm.

But then after awhile it gets awkward. There comes a point when you recognize them and they recognize you. Do you say hi? Or just go along like normal?

University Taught Me Something

The past few days, all seven kids have been crying during nap time. Usually it's the same two kids that cry and that is easy to deal with. However, suddenly this week, everyone has decided that they will cry during the first half hour of nap time and then maybe they will go to sleep.

Most parents know that when a baby is crying at the beginning of their naptime it is because they do not want to go to sleep, no matter how tired they are. However, after self-soothing, they are able to calm themselves and eventually fall asleep. There is one boy who is a little over a year who likes to be cradled and rocked all the time, even when he is awake. Sometimes, when he is exhausted, he is able to fall asleep on his mattress without any swinging. Anyway, the moment he starts to cry, the new staff member runs over to pick him and put him in the swing. Or if someone else is crying, she will pick them up and hush them. From experience and classes, I know that it is better to let the babies cry for a little bit so they can learn to sooth-themselves and then after a little bit try to calm them. This method does not work every kid, but for over time, the child will gradually learn to calm himself.

The child that constantly likes to be rocked is blind. He is able to see different colors and flashes of lights, but not much more than that. He has his favorite toy that sings and flashes lights. It is like a pacifier. If he is not playing with his toy, he will cry unless there is someone with him to say "you toy is in front of you" or unless he is able to feel someone's presence. He likes to be hugged and kissed and picked up. My theory is that because he is blind and unable to see, he is literally lost in his own thoughts and his own world. (Whether or not babies have thoughts is a different issue). He feels alone and unstable. I imagine it is like waking up disoriented. Being held allows him to be more in touch with reality and to know that he exists. That people care. The swinging and cradling also allows him to be able to know that he is alive. Even last year the girl that was totally blind always cries unless she was rocked back and forth. The boy from last year who was mostly blind didn't like to sleep because he probably felt that he would be lost. Their feelings are completely understandable.

In addition, the kids' morning play usually consists of building blocks (both literal blocks and metaphorical ones that will help them develop their skills) and Legos. I know the reason the kids are playing specifically with these toys is so that they can develop their fine and gross motor skills. Because they are so little and their hands are so little, most of them have very little control over putting the block into a specific area and usually "get one in" by luck. But because I know that these toys are supposed to enhance their skills, I will usually find a toy that will help them practice their skills instead of toy that just sings and makes other animal noises.

There are many other things that I learned in university that I would not have known otherwise and the skills that I learned have helped me work with the kids more than I think.